League History
A Fantasy Life: Champions of the Past
2020; Grant Kempton
In season defined by an unprecedented amount of uncertainty, I guess it was only natural for the league’s newest member to find success in 2020. Only a season ago, Grant was just an interim manager middling around near the cellar of the league standings while at the helm of Jared’s disastrously awful roster during his 2019 hiatus from Fantasy. As Grant reflects on the early days, he admits they were rough, but the adversity he faced early in his stint as an Emotional Friends FFL manager hardened his mind and helped forge the testicular fortitude required to compete with the big boys in an exceptional league like ours.
“It was rough for sure. I got no respect. NONE! But I got a taste of what real competition was like and saw how hard these boys work at fantasy. I was driven to be on their level. Not a day went by that off season where I wasn’t working on my Fantasy craft and just repping out Taylor Swift songs for hours on end.”
After the forgettable 2019 season, Grant was all set for a fresh start in 2020. Yet, as the long off season dragged on, the chances of a 2020 season being played seemed like long shot. The vice grip of the Coronavirus regulations continued to tighten by the day on all sports across America, which rendered nothing short of extreme anxiety for millions of Fantasy warriors gearing up for battle on the virtual grid irons that fall. Still, Grant remained undeterred in his relentless pursuit to get better. Astonishingly, that wasn’t even the most significant roadblock for Mr. Kempton to overcome to just to gain official entry in the league. On top of fact the actual season was in serious jeopardy of not being played, he remained an interim manager as late as July and was team #11 in a ten-man league. As league commissioner, Alex Ashak, put it, it left for one difficult conundrum to navigate with the season being up in the air.
“Let’s just say my plate was full.” Alex laughs as he recalls the precarious nature of the situation he was put in as the commissioner. “Here I was trying to figure out the logistics of a season with the new Covid regulations, and on top of that I got 11 managers for 10 freaking spots… Yeah it’s not how you typically draw it up.”
With the spirit and determination of a true champion, Grant’s continued display of an unparalleled steadfast devotion to constant improvement in the face of uncertainty was truly something to behold. There would have been no shame for the man many considered to be an afterthought in a league filled with such accomplished and battle tested Fantasy Managers to just pack it in move on to a less serious league. Grant wouldn’t have any part of that.
“I knew I was going to play. I didn’t let myself believe anything else. One way or another it was happening. If I had to interim manage for Justin or I got my official spot, either way I was going to be ready to prove the doubters wrong.”
It’s almost like he willed it into existence. Maybe we should’ve seen the emergence of Grant a lot sooner, with how everything just started falling into place and the stars started aligning so early on. First, T Sizzle dropped her new album, which Grant marks as the first domino to fall in his series of fortunate events that lead him to being an official member. Soon after the NFLPA and NFL signed a deal to ensure a season, and finally, to top it all off, the longtime embattled league member and controversial manager, Kameron, decided to end his tenure and concede his spot in the league, which allowed Alex to welcome Grant into the ranks of world’s greatest Fantasy League as an official member. When Grant was asked about his mind set at that point in regards to the upcoming season, now that he was officially in, he had only one thing to say.
“I came here to fuck shit up.”
Oh, and boy did he ever… Right out of the gates he jumped out to a 3-0 start while nearly averaging an absolutely blistering 177 points per game. It was one hell of a way to make an entrance on to the scene, which culminated in a microscopically narrow Week 3 win over Kevin in the "Saint-o-Rama" game, which is maybe the greatest game in league history. Nonetheless questions still remained about the legitimacy of his team. Would he have the stamina to keep up his rock-hard performances throughout the season akin to Johnny Sins after his 9th shoot in one day? Or was this just a premature ejaculation of points because he was so excited to finally be playing in a real fantasy league? While the doubts of many remained, Grant refused to believe his team would shrivel up like most expected.
Nevertheless, Grant would go on to take a really tough loss in Week 4 to Justin, after Dak’s historic fantasy performance propelled Justin to the win. It wasn’t terrible, but it was still the first blemish on his record and first real obstacle he had to overcome in the early going of the season trying to prove his worth. While a loss following up his Week 4 blunder wouldn’t necessarily spell doom for his playoff chances, Week 5 marked a pivotal moment in his season for the first year manager to make that bold statement to the league he was here to stay. It of course was a tough battle to the very end against one of his most heated rivals in Jared, but even after one of his worst performances of the year, when the dust settled, Grant claimed the crucial victory that meant so much more than another tally in the win column. That is when Grant said he truly knew…
“Week 5. For sure. I didn’t really bring it that week, but I found a way to win. That would have been two losses in a row and could have put me in a tough spot. But champions find a way to win. And that told me everything I needed to know about my team. We had what it takes.”
As the history books will show, he couldn’t have been more right. Grant continued to roll right along with some of the most consistently solid fantasy performances we’ve seen strung together in this league’s history. He was one of only two managers to not lose back-to-back games in 2020 (Trevor being the other), and remarkably only dropped below 150 points in three games all season, which was a feat that no other manager was able to accomplish in 2020. As the season progressed, Grant sustained a breathtaking level of Fantasy brilliance, never relinquishing his seat among the top of the standings and the Power Rankings. While there were unprecedented absences and injuries for everyone due to Covid, Grant navigated these issues masterfully and operated the waivers and roster decisions with near perfection en route to finishing as the 1st place team with a 9-3 record, as well as an all-time record for spontaneously jizzed shorts in one season. 73 times is going to be tough to beat…
“Yeah…” Grant laughs, “Went through A LOT lot of Tide Pods... and had the extra rinse cycle going 24/7. Definitely worth it though!”
As we know, work was still left to be done for Grant. If he was going to finish polishing off his campaign and experience the ultimate euphoric climax of a championship, resulting in that ever so intense eruption of warm, gooey excitement he was chasing so fervently, Grant was going need to be able to maintain his high level of Fantasy play.
“The playoffs man, a whole new beast. I could go on and on about the best teams in league history that couldn’t get it done when it mattered most. On top of that I was going up against some of the perennial power houses in Tyler and Trev. Trevor’s resume speaks for itself, and Tyler won the whole enchilada a couple years ago. So yeah, this was not going to be easy.”
Right on cue, Grant just kept the fantasy train of fate just chugging right along, taking down Tyler in the first round. While the score remained close, was it really ever though? Next up, was the championship and a showdown with the league’s luckiest and most accomplished manager to not have a title since the merger of AFFBAA and Emotional Friends FFL of 2014. The 2020 season marked the third time Trev had made the championship game and he was more determined than ever to finally claim that elusive title. Nevertheless, like a Christmas miracle unequivocally establishing Grant as the team of destiny, Alvin Kamara cashed in the greatest championship performance in league history, throwing up an astronomical 57.2 points, good for third highest single game performance in league history, and hands down the highest in a title game. It was the stuff of legend. In the end Trevor made it respectable, but Kamara and Murray were just too much to overcome, as Grant could finally celebrate a league championship. For Grant it was a surreal moment realizing that in just one year he went from laughing stock to etching himself a permanent spot in the annals of our league’s history books as one of the great champions of past.
When 2020 began, there were myriads of question marks, and a lot of confusion filled the Fantasy interwebs with how best to handle an unprecedented season. So it was a weird bit of irony that the one consistent thing we could count on was a valiant exhibition of Fantasy success by Grant week in and week out. Of all the managers in the league, he was maybe the last person we would have expected it from. Through all the chaos and uncertainty surrounding Fantasy as a whole, Grant eliminated the drama in our league with a practically flawless and uneventful wire to wire performance. Last year with Kevin’s magical run, it was about the madness and excitement of anything being possible. This season was just about Grant and one man’s mission to claim a title through a methodical workman like precision, taking down the goliaths of the league, and all those who doubted him, one by one.
“My girl T Sizzle said it best,” Grant says reflecting on what it means to win the championship and prove the haters wrong. “I got smarter. I got harder in the nick of time. Honey, I rose up from the dead. I do it all the time… LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!”
You did it, sir…
You sure did.
2019; Kevin Ashak
To say Kevin's 2019 Fantasy campaign was one of the most miraculous stories of redemption in league history, doesn't do quite do it justice. Coming into the season, Kevin knew starting another brutal journey all over, trying to reach the mountain top, was going to be a challenge unlike any other he's ever faced.
"I was right there man. I could taste it. To be one win away from the championship game... It's tough. But it wasn't meant to be. I knew I had to accept it, learn from it, and move on. It sucked for sure. But I proved to myself and this league I had what it takes to be the best, so I just got right back to work from there."
Heartbreak set the stage for his 2019 Fantasy season, and after narrowly missing a chance at the title game a year before, Kevin refused to let it deter him from his ultimate goal. Other manager's might have crumbled in the disappointment, but as the great ones so often do, he found a way to use it as fuel to rededicate himself even more that off season. He upped his daily Taylor Swift song intake regiments by almost triple from his previous levels, he started a Chipotle-based diet of only carnitas burritos with extra guac, and performed several sacrificial ceremonies to the Fantasy Gods of everything from iPhones to dinette sets. It was a total transformation of mind, body, and soul. Still, many remained skeptical of Kevin's outlook for 2019 and after a rather unorthodox draft that preseason, the criticisms piled up like never before.
"No one believed in me. No one. But, I knew I had to trust the process and stick to my guns, and that's exactly what I did."
Through the first 4 weeks of the season, Kev was a man on a mission. With a victory in the "Double Double With Cheese" game in Week 1 over past champion DW, he started turning heads and quieting critics early. Going into Week 5, he was sporting a 3-1 record and was #2 in the power rankings after four consecutive strong showings, while averaging a blistering 162 points per game to start the season. Kevin seemed poised to dominate his way through 2019 and set himself up nicely for another shot at Fantasy glory in the playoffs. However, as Kevin points out, it was never going to be that easy.
"I was riding high for sure, but I knew I was going to be tested. No great champion never had to overcome adversity. I just made sure that when the hits started coming, that I was ready to roll with punches and fight my way through it. In other years I may not have been able to do it, but not not this year, man. Not after all the work I put in and everything I had been through."
Starting in Week 5, Kevin's team failed to produce as consistently as they displayed to start the season. He lost to the previously win-less Daniel in easily one of the most embarrassing defeats in his history as a manager, as he could only muster a paltry 96 points that week. After a quick rebound in Week 6, another chance to show the league he was for real came in Week 7 against Justin...
"That was really when the adversity hit the hardest. Week 7, man... Patty goes down on Thursday night for what seems like it could be a season-ender, then I go on to lose by 1 point after a garbage time touchdown by Dak in the Sunday Night game. Are you kidding me!? Yeah, that one still hurts!"
After the Mahomes injury and brutal defeat in Week 7, the infamous letter to the league on the message boards was sent out and it seemed to be the nail in the coffin for Kevin's season. After all the work he had done up to that point, Kevin looked like a man who had given up. Still sitting at 4-3 and in the thick of the playoff race, without his stud QB and the sudden emergence of mid season regression by his draft picks, the doubt had fully set in. The next 4 weeks were probably the toughest Big Kev ever faced. At the top of the standings, Justin and Alex seemed to be unbeatable freight trains heading straight for an epic clash in the Fantasy Championship. Meanwhile, Kevin could only look on in frustration as he was fading away into obscurity quickly. His 1-3 record through Week's 8-11 had him free falling down the standings while he clung desperately to a minuscule chance of making the playoffs and carrying a pedestrian record of 5-6. With but two weeks left to play, no one would have faulted him for packing it in. Ahead of him were the two clear cut best teams in the league (Alex and Justin), the luckiest manager in league history (Trevor), and two teams with highest amount of points scored so far that season (DW and Tyler). To most, it was all but over.
"I just told myself at that point I wasn't going to give up and I was going to keep fighting. Yes, the odds were stacked against me, but I had come too far and done too much work to give up on my season. If I was going to get it done, what other way was it going to happen other than through an improbable comeback? I had nothing but bad luck to that point so it had to turn around eventually. I knew it had to! So I just let it all hang loose, baby!"
Even while his team was floundering, Kevin sneakily was still making shrewd roster maneuvers. He abandoned his highly drafted Chicago defense for the Steelers, he added Deebo Samuel and Hunter Henry, and he caught a massively fortuitous break with Kenyan Drake's trade to the Cardinals. Still, he had Mahomes bye week to navigate in Week 12 and several teams to jump if he even wanted to make the playoffs.
"Oh man, it wasn't pretty at all but I snuck by Kyle in Week 12 with Mahomes on bye. Tyler lost to DW too. So that set up one of the craziest finishes to a season in league history, with us all tied record wise and vying for the last playoff spot. I still can't believe what happened."
Needless to say, not even Hollywood could have scripted a more unbelievable finish than what transpired in Week 13. DW was the clear favorite to make it in to the last playoff spot, and with how many points he scored that season, a simple win and he would have procured the last spot. However, Daniel made things interesting very quick with his trouncing of DW, and with that, we were set up for a wild ride that will go down in fantasy lore forever. The eyes of the league turned to Tyler, who now just needed to beat the league's worst team, Kameron, to secure his spot. Controversy quickly ensued when it became known that Kameron inexplicably left TY Hilton in his lineup after being declared out of the game, which seemingly handed over Tyler the easy win and last playoff spot on a golden platter. In the background, Kev was still trudging along and taking care of business on his end to build himself a lead against his brother and arch nemesis, Alex.
"As the Sunday night game rolled around, I couldn't have been more anxious. I needed a miracle and I just kept the faith. The Fantasy Gods work in mysterious ways sometimes..."
Going into the Sunday night game Tyler seemed in prime position. A two point lead on Kameron might as well have been a 50 point lead with only James White left for Kam and Tyler rolling out traditional fantasy stallion, Deshaun Watson. But legends are not bourne from the ordinary and the expected. Even as Deshaun kept throwing touchdown passes, James White still kept catching those passes out of the back field and racking up fantasy points. Every time Deshaun threw a touchdown strike, White had an answer. As the game waned down into garbage time and Houston had a commanding lead late in the fourth quarter, Kev was running out of time.
"I gave one last prayer to the Fantasy Gods and said if this was ever the time for a miracle, I need it now."
Like a great Taylor Swift love ballad rising up the charts, James White rose up to the occasion to catch his second out-of-the-backfield touchdown pass with under 4 minutes left in the game. Then the Pats got the ball back one last time and Brady dumped it off to James White for a 30 yard scamper to seal the deal for Kameron's victory over Tyler. The stars were aligning more and more for Kev as not only did the second improbable defeat happen with Kam taking down Tyler, Hopkins went off for a cool 17, which gave him a nice 24 point cushion going into the Monday night game, as his brother still had top Fantasy RB Dalvin Cook set to go.
"At that point I knew it was just destiny. To be honest, I never really thought Dalvin was going to come close to scoring 24. But yeah, when the final seconds ticked off on Week 13 and the dust settled, I did what no one else believed was possible. I made the playoffs. And I wasn't done yet."
Going into the playoffs, Kevin knew it felt different this time. He had overcome so much. He had tasted the bitterness of defeat so many times, but like all great fighters who get knocked down, he rose from the canvas to boldly declare, "Is that all you got!?" One break after another just kept going in Kevin's way. Even though his position players were outscored by Justin in the first round of the playoffs, His Kicker and Defense combined to score 43 points en route to claiming his victory in Round 1 and chance to play for a Fantasy Title. Who would be waiting for him one final time? None other than Alex, with his formidable roster of fantasy studs, ready to play spoiler on Kevin's season by stonewalling him from finally reaching the top of the mountain and casting away the demons of his past.
"One final game. I was so close to realizing the dream and putting the finishing touches on my quest for redemption. I wasn't playing just for me that weekend. I was playing for all the managers out there who lost hope, who didn't think they could ever make it to the top. That day I was lifted by their spirit and I just knew that if I gave it everything I had for them, even if I was behind on the scoreboard at the end of the game, I could not lose that day. I could not lose."
As Patty Mahomes was throwing snowy darts for touchdowns and Kenyan Drake was punching in goal line carry after goal line carry, the Fantasy Gods smiled down not just upon Big Kev that afternoon, but all those who play Fantasy for the right reasons. Legend will have it he went on the greatest and luckiest run maybe in Fantasy history. Yet, as Kevin claimed one last victory to take home the Championship and hoisted the title trophy in the air, it shall be the sheer determination, grit, and unwillingness to ever back down that cements the legacy of his 2019 season in annals of greatest stories in Fantasy History. When all is seemingly lost, Kev proved to the league and the world that in Fantasy, even if you are staring straight down into the jaws of defeat, don't ever stop believing there is a James White to save you. In 2019, redemption is spelled: K-E-V-I-N.
Greatest Games
"Double Double With Cheese Game"
2019 Week 1 - Kshak beats DWwarner 181.3 - 180
"Point-Nado Game"
2019 Week 5 - AlexAshak beats DWwarner 210.4 - 199.3
"James White Game"
2019 Week 13 - KamSmith beats Tborgs 133.6 - 129
"Saint-o-Rama Game"
2020 Week 3 - KenUdigit beats Kshak 173.5 - 173
When that Sunday morning finally rolled around, Kevin had to be feeling pretty good about his chances as the perennial Fantasy stalwart, James Robinson (#sarcasm), put up a cool 30.9 points on Thursday night to propel him out to the early lead, because… of course. Anyway, in the morning round of games, Grant got a tidy little 14 from Gould, but Reed and the Washington D only combined to score a paltry 5.3 for the standings leader. As Chubb was ducking the Washington defenders on his way to the endzone, even though Grant was racking up points, it was hurting his defense so much that Sleeper still had Kevin predicted to win the game. The morning may had seemed pretty uneventful, but the first two of several monumental and incredibly unlikely swings took place that left the door slightly cracked for Grant to stay within striking distance. First, Stefon Diggs was getting the requisite targets from Joshy Boy on the first drive of the Bills game in upstate New York to indicate he was going to have a big game. From the 1 yard line, Stefon had two separate touchdown grabs on consecutive plays negated, first by replay, and then subsequently by penalty to rob Kevin of 7 points. Diggs would finish with only 14.9 points. Then, down south in the same state of New York, the Turf of Death struck again, appearing to seriously injure Jordan Reed after he was wreathing in pain from rolling his ankle on the “sticky” MetLife field. To everyone’s surprise, Reed came back and gutted out one more drive in the second quarter, nabbing an 11 yard reception before being promptly pulled right back out of the game. In my opinion, Reed was the unsung hero of the game, returning just long enough to net Grant 2 more points. All in all, it was a 9 point swing, that may have not seemed like much, but yeah… They kind of turned out to be a pretty big deal. Not only that, the odds of that series of events taking place in the same state in about a 30 min time span, I’m going to go out on a limb and say not very likely.
The best was yet to come when the real scoring started in the afternoon. Like Kanye just keeps trying to frantically keep his name in the spotlight while T Sizzle racks up the certified platinum hits, the craziness just kept rearing its ugly head. Late in the first quarter of the Seahawks game, DK caught a 62 yard bomb from Russel “Hussle and Bussell, Man Muscle” Wilson and then shockingly had the ball poked out, inches before strolling across the goal line, in a one in a million type play by the Cowboy defender. Once again, another manager was robbed of all but guaranteed points, with Grant this time being on the receiving end of some wretched luck. Right on cue, in that same game, Greg the Leg emphatically turned to Kev and said, “Hold my beer…” and inexplicably shanked not one, but two extra point attempts. We are talking about a kicker who had missed a total of three extra point attempts over the last four years combined! You can’t make this shit up.
At any rate, after the rookie QB extraordinaire, Justin Herbert, forgot he had any other receiver than Keenan Allen, giving Kevin a robust 30.2 points, and Lil Kyler threw a career high in picks, Kevin took a 22 point lead going into the Sunday night game. Similar to a great male adult film star hopped up on a concoction of Adderall, Cocaine, and Viagra, this game wasn’t about to stop delivering us giant creamy loads of excitement. It was an all Saint, Sunday night showdown, with Brees still left for Kevin and a Kamara/Cook combo ready to roll for Grant. What ensued was an all time “Saint-O-Rama” eruption of points that Sunday night which had both managers being tossed through a roller coaster of emotions more ferocious than an Anderson Silva leg kick to the dome. It was Fantasy at its finest, Gentlemen. Each time Kevin’s trusty QB just kept dumping off those passes to Kamara, the star RB kept dazzling the football world by bouncing off defenders galore en route to 44.7 points for Grant. Nevertheless, points were still being accumulated by Brees on each of those passes, and over the course of the second half, the two teams were not separated by more than 5 points at any point. When the dust finally settled, Grant emerged from the madness clinging to .5 point lead and took home the win to keep his record unblemished in a game where both teams amazingly topped 170 points. In a stunning turn of bad luck for the reigning champion, Kevin now finds himself winless through the first three weeks, but he can hold his head high that he hung in for one night, with the juggernaut of the league through the first quarter of the season. The staff still can’t believe how this game turned out and it unequivocally gets the distinguished award for Week 3 of the Pepper Brooks and Cotton McKnight Game of the Week. Pepper needs new shorts!
"Stat Correction Game"
2020 Week 3 - Tspires beats Jweverstad 162 - 161.25
With both teams sitting at 1-1, there really wasn’t a whole lot to get excited about going into the match up of two underperforming managers. Jared eeked out a victory against moi after I was the worst scoring team in Week 1, to only turn around and get stomped in Week 2. Through two weeks, he was averaging a tick over 140 points per game, which Jared likely knew wasn’t going to cut it if he had aspirations of a playoff filled future, but he was still in prime position to be above .500 after the quarter mark of his campaign. The same was true for Trevor, but he was a little more up and down after shooting himself in the foot badly with poor lineup decisions in Week 2, but what’s new? It was up for debate if Trevor had a good team, and this was a worthwhile opportunity to make a strong statement to the league on the prospects for his 2020 season.
When Sunday arrived, Jared quickly grabbed the steering wheel with a huge 42.35 points from Joshy Boy, continuing the tear that his QB has been on in the early going, and Jared comfortably sat in the drivers seat for most of the morning. Other than that, though, Jared couldn’t put the game away as the morning slate had pretty poor performances for both managers involved as they were trying to one up each other with their ineptitude for making lineup decisions. Jared failed to stream a competent defense as Kirk Cousin’s torched the Titans to leave him with a microscopic 3 points, but it became painfully clear Trevor can’t hit the mark on his QB decisions when he opted for Cam over Brady, which ended with a dismal 14.8 for Trevor. Nonetheless, as we made our way to the afternoon, both teams hit the after burners and points started being thrown up on the board faster than Kevin pre-ordering the new T Swift album upon it’s announcement. Lockett, the true hero of the game for Trevor, broke out with 3 first half touchdowns to finish with 37 points. Jared, wasn’t done either, and countered with 31.3 from his diminutive star RB, Ekeler, and 23.7 from the Hands Man himself, Deandre Hopkins. What was a snoozer for the most of the morning, suddenly received a lightning strike of points, straight to the flaccid tip of this game’s schlong, to erect some rock hard excitement and set up a fantastic Monday night finish.
Trailing by 21.45 points, with only Tyreek left for Trevor, all Jared could do was hope for the best as he had no other players left on his roster to help safeguard his lead. While definitely do-able, 21.5 points from Tyreek was going to be no easy task with the smorgasbord of options at Patty’s disposal to disperse the ball to. In the first half, though, it seemed like Tyreek was going to easily surpass his needed mark as he quickly racked up 18.6 points in the first half, capped by a mid second quarter touchdown, and Trevor only trailed by 2.85. An excruciating second half then proceeded for the two managers as they watched on the edge of their seats for each Chief drive. Even though the game script didn’t favor a whole lot of passes with the Chiefs leading big, in the second half Patty did everything he could to not give Tyreek the ball with touchdowns by Anthony Sherman and Eric Freakin’ Fisher. Drive after drive, as the clock dwindled away it was becoming more and more obvious we were going to have a photo finish, with the eyes of the entire league looking on in anticipation to find out how the game would turn out. When it was all said and done, Tyreek could only muster one carry for 3 yards and one catch for 13 yards in the second half, good for… 2.6 points. To Trevor’s dismay, this left him .25 points shy of Jared and fell short of snatching victory. I mean, right after we had a less than one point victory by Grant the night before, Jared swiftly one upped him by staving off a furious Monday night comeback with an even closer margin of victory. The odds of this happening twice in a season have to be pretty low… But happening twice in the same week? As Sleepy Joe would say: C’mon Man!
Well, we all went to bed that Monday night thinking Jared was the proud owner of a 2-1 record and the demonic conjuring’s of Trevor’s luck had finally been vanquished. Aaaaaaannnd then came Thursday. While we were all steering our focus to Week 4, the brilliant minds that constitute the NFL’s statistics department were fast at work, confirming the game day statisticians had every little detail in the books correct. Interestingly, stat corrections are actually quite prevalent in the NFL each week, like the multitudes of creepy crawlers I’m sure wander Jared’s unwashed, filthy, spider breeding ground that he calls a mattress each night. Most of the time they just pass him by unnoticed while he slumbers peacefully dreaming of a day he might raise a fantasy trophy. But… every so often, he wakes up to find one of those bastards bit him right on the dick hole. Welp, wouldn’t you know it, in one of the most remarkable turn of events in league history, one of those very stat corrections did exactly that. Sometime on the Thursday following Week 3, it was determined Gurley fumbled the ball resulting in a 1 point deduction for Jared, and now he must suffer the consequences of a metaphorical spider bite to the dick that is the stat correction, in maybe the most brutal loss the league has ever seen. Wow. We all thought it was a possibility, but I don’t think anyone believed it was actually going to happen. Since we gave the nod to the “Saint-O-Rama” game for Game of the Week, the “Stat Correction” game still gets a tip of the cap as an honorable mention for being a high scoring battle between two good teams, even with the controversial finish. Still, tough break for our man Jared. Ouchtown, Population: You Bro!
